…Between Loneliness And Despair

It’s not that I can’t breathe…

It’s that I can’t breathe in…

And exhale,

Completing the most basic
Processes in life…

Just living.

For in this vacuum
Of my emotional never-to-be,

I seek with outstretched fingertips,
To touch
Something real.

Turning to the left,
And to the right,

My fingers reach
To explore,
And with undiminished hope,

To touch,

And feel,

The warmth
And rich reality

Of another human spirit…

Also reaching,

Striving to touch…

Striving like me,
To breathe.

And therein lies
The incompleteness.

The deep breath in,

But never the exhale…

Never the culmination
Of what life is meant
To offer

To my heart.

So here I am,

Wounded by the emptiness…

Just left drifting,
Wondering,
Hoping,

And yearning…

To touch the fingertips of another

With my reach into the fog,

Never quite knowing,

But forever longing
To connect…

To love…

Drifting

Somewhere,

Somewhere,

Between loneliness and despair.

© 2018 W. C. Stacia, Jr.

80 thoughts on “…Between Loneliness And Despair

  1. Sigh…

    This speaks to me and some days that “drifting and difficulty breathing” that you speak of is not so bad, but then there are days you just feel so lost… like there’s no hope or cure for that void inside. You just hold on to hope that one day that right person will reveal themselves to you. This is really heartfelt, my friend. Beautifully written. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Brandi…I so agree. And I guess that’s why the idea of breathing/breath really stuck with me when trying to describe it. Like something so basic, yet so powerfully troubling in its loss or incompleteness…almost choking.

      Sigh.

      Thank you so much, as always for your thoughts and encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think when you added that element of the breath in there, especially the difficulty in exhaling, it also made me think of not wanting to let go of something precious. Like a breath is so powerful, it’s life giving, and that’s why we don’t want to release it. We hold on to it because it’s our life… like the people we love or wish to be with. If we lose what gives us life, we become lifeless. Your words took me to that thought, my friend. Really well done, as always.

        You are very welcome, Bill! Always a pleasure reading your work!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You know…that’s a wonderful insight and so spot on! You should write a piece that follows up on that theme…not wanting to exhale…not wanting to give up that breath. It’s our life.

        I would love to see you set those words free.

        As I’ve mentioned before, you have endless creativity and the ability to put your finger on the crux of the issue. So well done. And so many thanks for your comments…always very very important to me!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You always inspire and challenge me, Bill! I’m not sure what justice I could bring to that topic, if any, but it’s a very heartfelt subject and I may try to have a swing at it. We’ll see where my thoughts take me. Lol.

        Thank you so much for the kind compliment, my friend! And, again, you are very welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I certainly leave it up to you…whatever is best.

        Just remember that we both agreed the only thing you can’t do is fly…

        But maybe with the foil hat…it just might work.

        🙂

        Whose idea was that foil hat thing anyway? It cracks me up even now!

        🙂 !

        Liked by 1 person

      5. hahaha!! I was just thinking about that! All I remember is me saying I hijacked your thoughts … OH wait… Yep… I’m the guilty party here. It was ME! LOL! Looks like I was the creator of that awful foil hat. (face palm)😆

        Well… I may not know how to fly, but I make one good foil hat! 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Haha! You bring just as many smiles to me, my friend! Always happy to bring smiles and laughter your way!

        Thank you so much for the Friday and weekend well wishes, Bill! You have an amazing evening and weekend too! Yes … LIFE IS GOOD!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “Somewhere, between loneliness and despair”. Great line, and I think many can relate! Even the introvert in me craves a social connection. We need each other, whether we want to admit it or not. Have a good weekend, Bill.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Between loneliness and despair lingers emptiness and void of heart, you breath just got surviving but not living. I so feel you…
    Times when we just drift on like a zombie get on with mundane chores of life almost robotically without feeling while nursing the voids of heart.
    Outstanding!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s an excellent point of departure…

        And one that always makes me feel better!

        So…I don’t know yet. I have a hankerin’ for some north African spice mix. Maybe cumin, cinnamon, coriander, ginger. I’ve got a great recipe for red lentil soup with those spices. Float some lump crabmeat in the middle and drizzle with some melted butter/dried mint. And a nice crostini.

        What say you?

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Marta!! Thank you so much…and you’re timing is so serendipitous! I just received “Blue Emptiness” that I ordered from Lulu! Can’t wait to read it this weekend!

      And, I’ll check out the link you provided!!

      So many thanks!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so powerful, Bill! I feel you! But what can one do? Just breathe! And maybe there will be a time when, unable to exhale, another human being will perform CPR and help them inhale the beauty they – all of us – deserve…

    Liked by 1 person

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