…Between Loneliness And Despair

It’s not that I can’t breathe…

It’s that I can’t breathe in…

And exhale,

Completing the most basic
Processes in life…

Just living.

For in this vacuum
Of my emotional never-to-be,

I seek with outstretched fingertips,
To touch
Something real.

Turning to the left,
And to the right,

My fingers reach
To explore,
And with undiminished hope,

To touch,

And feel,

The warmth
And rich reality

Of another human spirit…

Also reaching,

Striving to touch…

Striving like me,
To breathe.

And therein lies
The incompleteness.

The deep breath in,

But never the exhale…

Never the culmination
Of what life is meant
To offer

To my heart.

So here I am,

Wounded by the emptiness…

Just left drifting,
Wondering,
Hoping,

And yearning…

To touch the fingertips of another

With my reach into the fog,

Never quite knowing,

But forever longing
To connect…

To love…

Drifting

Somewhere,

Somewhere,

Between loneliness and despair.

© 2018 W. C. Stacia, Jr.

Categories PoetryTags , , ,

86 thoughts on “…Between Loneliness And Despair

  1. Quite thoughtful. 🌷

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure! Have a lovely evening ahead 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And the same to you my friend! Thank you Suzanne!

        🙂 !!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you Bill 😊!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sigh…

    This speaks to me and some days that “drifting and difficulty breathing” that you speak of is not so bad, but then there are days you just feel so lost… like there’s no hope or cure for that void inside. You just hold on to hope that one day that right person will reveal themselves to you. This is really heartfelt, my friend. Beautifully written. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Brandi…I so agree. And I guess that’s why the idea of breathing/breath really stuck with me when trying to describe it. Like something so basic, yet so powerfully troubling in its loss or incompleteness…almost choking.

      Sigh.

      Thank you so much, as always for your thoughts and encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think when you added that element of the breath in there, especially the difficulty in exhaling, it also made me think of not wanting to let go of something precious. Like a breath is so powerful, it’s life giving, and that’s why we don’t want to release it. We hold on to it because it’s our life… like the people we love or wish to be with. If we lose what gives us life, we become lifeless. Your words took me to that thought, my friend. Really well done, as always.

        You are very welcome, Bill! Always a pleasure reading your work!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You know…that’s a wonderful insight and so spot on! You should write a piece that follows up on that theme…not wanting to exhale…not wanting to give up that breath. It’s our life.

        I would love to see you set those words free.

        As I’ve mentioned before, you have endless creativity and the ability to put your finger on the crux of the issue. So well done. And so many thanks for your comments…always very very important to me!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You always inspire and challenge me, Bill! I’m not sure what justice I could bring to that topic, if any, but it’s a very heartfelt subject and I may try to have a swing at it. We’ll see where my thoughts take me. Lol.

        Thank you so much for the kind compliment, my friend! And, again, you are very welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I certainly leave it up to you…whatever is best.

        Just remember that we both agreed the only thing you can’t do is fly…

        But maybe with the foil hat…it just might work.

        🙂

        Whose idea was that foil hat thing anyway? It cracks me up even now!

        🙂 !

        Liked by 1 person

      5. hahaha!! I was just thinking about that! All I remember is me saying I hijacked your thoughts … OH wait… Yep… I’m the guilty party here. It was ME! LOL! Looks like I was the creator of that awful foil hat. (face palm)😆

        Well… I may not know how to fly, but I make one good foil hat! 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      6. All of that just cracks me up!!!!

        So funny!!

        You’re killin’ me!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hahaha!!! I know, I know! I need help badly! And you encouraging my craziness is NOT helping!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Ok…so we both share responsibility for this.

        One I gladly accept, because I love the perpetual smiles it brings.

        Maybe we just live with it…yes?

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Lol!
        sigh… I suppose we could live with this fashion blunder of mine. But if this ever makes it on the cover of Vogue, you’re modeling it! 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Ok…deal.

        Do you think that Vogue would mind if I have my bourbon in hand?

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      11. OMG!!! You’re killing me!!
        Well.. if it helps to sell the hat, I say go for it! 😆

        Liked by 1 person

      12. We’re all in!!

        Vogue…we’re comin’ for you!!!

        🙂 !!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      13. LOL!!!

        I’ll be hiding somewhere in shame now! hahaha!!! 😆

        Liked by 1 person

      14. You make me smile…

        Hope you have a great Friday night and weekend my friend.

        Life is good!!

        Liked by 1 person

      15. Haha! You bring just as many smiles to me, my friend! Always happy to bring smiles and laughter your way!

        Thank you so much for the Friday and weekend well wishes, Bill! You have an amazing evening and weekend too! Yes … LIFE IS GOOD!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I believe there are a lot of fingertips reaching into the fog grasping and longing to connect together in interlocking fingers..

    Very well done Bill..

    😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jamie…and I suspect you’re right.

      Hope you have a great Friday!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome Bill..

        Hope you do as well !! 😊 !!!

        Like

      2. Thank you!!!

        I will!!!!

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This has depth and truth in it. Yes…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Gianna…really appreciate your thoughts! Maybe the pain one feels in releasing words is a good sign of potential depth of the work.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. “Somewhere, between loneliness and despair”. Great line, and I think many can relate! Even the introvert in me craves a social connection. We need each other, whether we want to admit it or not. Have a good weekend, Bill.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sue!! And I absolutely agree with you. Have a wonderful weekend as well!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Between loneliness and despair lingers emptiness and void of heart, you breath just got surviving but not living. I so feel you…
    Times when we just drift on like a zombie get on with mundane chores of life almost robotically without feeling while nursing the voids of heart.
    Outstanding!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Tanya…and I so agree with you. Without feeling is the worst!!

      We need to live….yes!?!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Without feelings we are just breathing carcasses nothing more nothing less, we need human touch to feel alive some warmth to keep the bloods gushing !

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes…just right. Sanguine.

        Touch is the key that unlocks that emptiness….

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know, I totally feel you, I’ve had such dark darks simply longing for human touch to nurse emptiness!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That’s exactly it…

        Exactly it.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. To break the monotony and on serious note what are you cooking this weekend anything special

        Liked by 1 person

      6. That’s an excellent point of departure…

        And one that always makes me feel better!

        So…I don’t know yet. I have a hankerin’ for some north African spice mix. Maybe cumin, cinnamon, coriander, ginger. I’ve got a great recipe for red lentil soup with those spices. Float some lump crabmeat in the middle and drizzle with some melted butter/dried mint. And a nice crostini.

        What say you?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Brilliant, I love the recipe when human touch missing , warm food can come in handy. Devour the soup on my behalf too!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. I will savor it…thank you Tanya! Oh…and BTW, I’m still thinking through the streaming/reading idea we discussed. Too much work…I’ve just been stuck.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. You can mail once you have any ideas, till then enjoy your soup let me know. Have a great weekend!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. the expectation of something we know is there but just out of reach, beautifully told with the richness of your soulful words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So many thanks Gina!! I’m so glad that you liked it!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Unique writing, beautifully poignant. Your poem slightly reminds me of Mario Savioni’s “No Rainy-Day Friend” carrying the same sadness and expression of loneliness: https://savioni.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/no-rainy-day-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-826

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Marta!! Thank you so much…and you’re timing is so serendipitous! I just received “Blue Emptiness” that I ordered from Lulu! Can’t wait to read it this weekend!

      And, I’ll check out the link you provided!!

      So many thanks!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome, Bill.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ll let you know when I’m done with the book!

        Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. The first two lines got me… Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My pleasure…so many thanks for your comments!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, Sweet William. I feel you. Truly I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You have written the way I feel inside

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so much appreciate your thoughts and wish for you that connection and touch.

      I totally get it.

      Sigh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Have to open world to allow it within reach….someday

        Liked by 1 person

  12. This is such a familiar feeling; mind and body crying out for the smallest grain of affection just to ease the loneliness that seems to linger even when in the company of 100 people. So very sad and beautifully written x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the thoughts Lisa…I totally get that.

      Sigh…

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This is so powerful, Bill! I feel you! But what can one do? Just breathe! And maybe there will be a time when, unable to exhale, another human being will perform CPR and help them inhale the beauty they – all of us – deserve…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Elitsa!! And I think you’ve got that just right!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow, amazing and so relatable!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! I’m so glad you liked it!

      Like

  15. Bill, this is lovely and sad and so very moving.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Susan… I so much appreciate your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. god I love how you write. It’s so marvelous. Heart sighs and wistful longing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well…the feeling is mutual Tara!!

      So many thanks for your interest and support!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always, Bill. Always.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Lovely post and rang so true to me. Loneliness is the single hardest thing to deal with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much for the thoughts. I completely understand!

      Like

  18. I believe you are searching for sonething and in the meantime you are making yourself miserable. Let go…. Its ok right now to be alone. Find yourself.. We go thru so much heartache and suffering enough is enough. Get up early take a nice shower put on some nice clothes shoes get a haircut and go somewhere youve never been before. Go on a mini roadtrip with no destination. You DO NOT NEED ANY1 TO COMPLETE YOU. IF YOU THINK YOU DO… YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY OR COMPLETE. COMPLETE YOURSELF AND THEN YOU WILL SEE WHAT COMES YOUR WAY

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Live with some pain in the ass for a few years youll beg for loneliness lol… Take time to yourself find urself again

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Read my poem to my man for his birthday before he betrayed me… 1 day before. Yiu give an inch they take a mile… Lol please read it

    Liked by 1 person

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