If I Close My Eyes

Somehow,

I hoped
And wished,
That tonight,
I could
Avoid the pain,
Of missing you.

The drink
Should help,

But

It doesn’t.

And what if
I simply try
To shutter
My heart
From this world…

No,

That fails me
Too.

The burning
Smolders.

The ache
Remains,

Unavoidable,

Inescapable.

So now,

With one last
Physical gesture
Of defiance…

I close my
Eyes,

Simply
To surround
Myself with darkness,
And obfuscation
Of the anguish.

But

Even this futile effort,
Fails me.

I still see…
And long for…

You.

Even…

Even if
I close my eyes

The hurt of me
Missing you,

Prevails.

Β© 2018 W. C. Stacia, Jr.

Categories PoetryTags , , ,

32 thoughts on “If I Close My Eyes

  1. This one especially resonates with me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Marta!! I so much appreciate your thoughts. I just had this vision of wanting so badly to escape the pain…and that led me to the “If I close My Eyes,” knowing full well it would be futile. But I liked the concept nonetheless. Maybe that’s poetic license. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can feel the pain in this one, Bill. It sucks when you try to let go of someone and move on, but the heart and mind keep bringing memories and old feelings up to the forefront. Guess all we can do is feel the pain and longing, until it subsides. This is heartfelt and beautiful, my friend… as always. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Brandi…I really appreciate your thoughts, as always. Don’t know why I came up with this idea of closing my eyes to shutter the pain, but it just seemed like the perfect, last ditch effort to thwart the inevitable. Must say that it really reached me writing this. But, write we must…are you with me?

      Hope you’re having a beautiful Friday eve! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome, Bill. What you’re feeling is normal and, trust me, when we wish to not feel the pain from missing someone, we sometimes find ourselves doing whatever we can to just numb the pain. Personally, I’d rather feel it and become intimate with the feeling because it reminds me that I’m still alive and, as long as I am alive, I have hope that better days will come. So, keep your head up, my friend. It may hurt now, but the sun will shine again for you. πŸ˜‰ Until then… write that pain out! πŸ™‚

        Thanks, my friend! I hope you have an amazing Friday eve, too! ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So wise and perfectly spoken…

        And, I totally agree. There is a vibrancy in feeling pain and savoring the sweetness of hope. It does make one feel alive.

        For the record, I’m exceptionally talented at enjoying Friday eve, and Friday! It’s one of the few things I’m good at! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you, Bill! Yes, it definitely makes us feel alive!

        Oh, I know you are extremely talented at enjoying your Friday eves and Fridays! Will there be another night of bourbon and poetry??? 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well…to be completely honest…if I can finish my company work early enough (I have my own company, so I work all day on the customer’s site then do my company work at night and on the weekends…okay, I’ve whined enough), I like to sit on my front step every night, have a drink, write poetry, and watch the sun go down. Pretty simple…but that’s my oasis…my respite.

        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Haha! Hey, when you get done taking care of business, it makes you look forward to having that down time. Sounds like a peaceful and cool way to chill out at the end of the day! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      6. It is…totally. I’m being bad now in that I’m multi-tasking company work/business with poetry/WP pleasure.

        I’m weak. πŸ™‚

        But, in another 30 minutes, I’ll be out on my front step with no more work on my mind…just writing and relaxing.

        Perfect…..

        Liked by 1 person

      7. hahaha! I would tell you to blink and you’ll be on your porch, but…. we both know that doesn’t work. lol πŸ˜†

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Arghhhhhh….soon, my friend. Very soon.

        You can check me at 630pm eastern and I assure you I will be there.

        And no one can stop me! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      9. I bet you will be there and right on time, too! I won’t stop you, my friend! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      10. I have another 19 minutes…and counting. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      11. LOL! If you keep staring at that clock and the time will slow down! Don’t look!!! πŸ˜†

        Liked by 1 person

      12. hahaha! Oh my… don’t say I didn’t warn you! Lol

        Liked by 1 person

  3. So…I’m happy to report that all is now right with the world. I am on my front step on a warm, summer Washington, D.C., evening. I have my drink, and I have my sunset. All is good…and my mind is free to wander, and write.

    Beautiful.

    πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yay!!! It’s time to get your writing on! Woo hoo! Have fun, Bill! 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks my friend…it was a wonderful sunset.

        Inspirational.

        Hopefully the words conveyed from my mind to my fingers over the past hour and a half will meet your expectations over the next several days.

        As always, I so appreciate your support and interest!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Bill, your words NEVER disappoint. πŸ™‚

        You’re very welcome, my friend. Enjoy your night!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That makes me very happy…and the same to you my friend.

        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thanks, Bill! ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Obfuscation of the Anguish. Delicious imagery!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was enjoyable to write! Sometimes I think that maybe I’m being a little too quirky with the word choice… but then I think…naw…I just want to have some fun with it! 😊

      Like

      1. Words are sustenance. Go with what fills your heart!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes!! Spot on!! So that’s what we shall do! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! So glad you liked it!

      Like

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