Just Trying To…

Last Friday night,
Alone…
I was just trying to remember
When we first met.

It was a cold winter night,
Wasn’t it?
Mutual friends had gathered
For a bon fire,
On rocky New England shores.

As waves announced their
Presence on the beach,

As the fire grew in its strength,
Announcing its presence
With pops, and hisses,

As the stars woke from their
Daytime slumber,
Announcing a heavenly shimmer…

You arrived.

And I knew,
In that moment,
You were special…

And I had to meet you.

Then, I was just trying to remember,
When we fell in love.

Maybe it was the third
Or fourth date,
As we made our way past
The everyday…
To the everything.

And then, I was just trying to
Remember
All the beautiful years
We had together.

No matter the challenges,
No matter the hardship,
Together….

We lived.

But that was then.

Now, alone…
I can’t help but remember how
I hurt you.
How in my darkest moment,
I made my darkest mistake.

Now, alone…
I want so badly to re-live the past.

To take a different course.

To support and
Nurture and
Love you…

So desperately.

But that was then.

Now…
Faced with an empty,
Wanting life…
There is nothing but
Bleakness.

And so,
Now…

I’m just trying,
Not to remember…

But to forget…

Everything.

 

© 2017 W. C. Stacia, Jr.

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